I apologize that my height threatens your status as an alpha male

I am going to tell you a story.

Last Friday I went on a first date with a boy. This boy was very cool, very attractive, and somewhere around 5’11” tall, which is my height. All of these things were acceptable to me. It was a really good date, we both seemed to very much enjoy ourselves, and I left the evening assuming I would see him again.

Then today, while we were texting, he asked if I was free any time to hang out. But “maybe not as a date but as homies” because his “height game is way too weak for” mine, and his “alphaness is properly threatened to be dating” me. To summarize the direct quotes: he just wants to be friends as us being the same height means I am too tall for him, because I threaten his status as the alpha male.

Initial reaction: what the actual fuck.

Secondary reaction: no but seriously WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

*Takes a few seething deep breaths*

I have been 5’11” tall since I was fifteen. I started middle school at a gigantic 5’7″. I genuinely do not remember a time when I was shorter than 5′. I always towered over every one of my classmates in grade school, and in particular I towered over all the boys. Everyone, boys mostly, thought it was acceptable to comment on and ridicule my height. I was bullied incessantly. I hated being tall for a large part of my life, and I automatically assumed that no boy would ever have a crush on me because I was too tall for him, and boys don’t like tall girl. This all left me feeling really shitty about a fundamental part of myself as a human being, which sucked.

Then I grew up, realized that haters gunna hate hate hate, and accepted who I am. I came to understand that my height is not only part of what makes me a unique human being, but my height is beautiful, and should be celebrated. Now I strut around in cute heels all the time, which make both my calves and my personality much more attractive.

It took me about 20 years to fully accept who I am, and for some random asshole to come around and try to tear down everything I’ve worked so hard to build up is absolutely unacceptable.

First of all, I opened up to you on said first date about this history of feeling self-conscious about my height, and yet you think it’s okay to essentially tell me, “I am too good for you and your giantess status.” And yet you had the audacity to think I would still want to hang out with out as a friend. In what world do you think that is an acceptable thing to say to a fellow human being? How is it in any way appropriate to tell a girl that you have zero desire to date her, not because her personality is shit, but because of some physical aspect of herself that not only is she already conscious about, but that she cannot change? I’ll give you a hint: it isn’t appropriate.

Secondly, I am threatening your “alphaness”? Did you miss the memo that we are now in the year 2015? The patriarchal concept of the alpha-male as a) something to strive towards and b) something that women find attractive is laughable. It’s called gender equality, my friend. I am a confident, independent woman in the 21st century and if you think that your desire to be the “alpha” in a relationship is a desire that will be easily fulfilled, you are sorrily mistaken. Your concept of a relationship is outdated, so please take yourself out of the dating pool until you can properly educate yourself on feminism.

Currently I’m a little hurt and very angered by this whole ordeal. But I’m a positive person; I will bounce back. But you, sir, have faced the ultimate punishment because misogynistic bullies like yourself will suffer for the the rest of your lives. Perhaps it was your upbringing. Perhaps your height isn’t the only size you’re self-conscious about. But whatever it is, I wish you the best of luck in your future relationship endeavours. Luck you’ll need if you continue to be a sexist prick.

Don’t settle, my friends. Don’t conform. Don’t accept the awful standards people set for you. Be yourself, and be confident in yourself. And if anyone give you shit for who you are, call me up and I will gladly kick their ass with my 4-inch pumps.

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3 thoughts on “I apologize that my height threatens your status as an alpha male

  1. Hey Marryl I was scrolling through FB when I saw this and gave it a read, and just wanted you to know Ive always thought you were attractive as hell as long as I’ve known you. Honestly, don’t take crap like this. Your better than it lol

  2. 1) #preach
    2) This is actually a seriously overlooked issue in our society: for both males and females. As a short guy, I’ve had girls tell me they could never date me because I’m too short. (Or, in a more roundabout, they just couldn’t date a shorter guy.) Aside from the whole self-esteem stuff short guys and tall girls need to work through growing up, it is really unfortunate people are so shallow they can’t look past something like height (which is out of our control), even if someone really wonderful is in front of them.

  3. LOL @: “Perhaps your height isn’t the only size you’re self-conscious about.”
    It’s funny that within his fear of not being seen as an “alpha male”, the action he’s taking (deciding you two can’t date because you’re just as tall as he) is essentially the least “alpha” thing I suppose one can do. Aside from his non-existent ideals of himself and of what society for men should be, I think he’s just an underdeveloped specimen. Proof of this: you’re past the point, as you said, in your life where height was something you should feel any sort of negative feeling about. And that’s with the height concerning YOU. He brought you right back to that place you were at years ago because he himself is sitting within that little bubble. He clearly needs to get out more. Nonetheless, keep doing you and surrounding yourself around positive people like yourself. I’ve never been happier since doing so 🙂

    – Your friend

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