New Beginnings

It is 10:00pm, my computer is overheating like a a menopausal woman, and I don’t know where this steam-of-consciousness came from, but here goes.

I am feeling oddly optimistic about my life. I feel like there are a lot of changes that are going to happen to me soon and I am going to experience a lot of different things. New beginnings, as the title says. Sometimes I find I can get pretty down on my life: I’m stuck in some rut, everything is very stagnant, nothing is exciting. But I’m feeling kind of excited. About nothing in particular, just about life running its course. About friendships and relationships and the future and stuff. I’m not very spiritual and I don’t normally think about the universe but I guess right now the universe and I seem to be on pretty cool terms.

You know what I’m not on cool terms with? My house. Because my house it not cool. It is a thousand degrees. Sorry, laptop.

(My laptop’s name is Alaska, if anyone is curious.)

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I’m feeling 22

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A recent photo of myself. Isn’t the resemblance uncanny.

I have literally been waiting two and a half years for this moment.

I’ve had this fear ever since Taylor released 22, two and a half years ago, that by the time I reached the age of 22, the song would be old hat or no one would know what it is and I would have missed out on this crowning moment of lyrical celebration. But my fears were all for naught as the song is still going strong. And since my 22nd birthday has conveniently fallen on a Wednesday, I think it is fitting that I analyze the lyrics to the coveted song and see if this is really what it feels like to be 22.

“It feels like a perfect night to dress up like hipsters / And make fun of our exes, uh uh, uh uh.”

I do own full frame tortoise shell Ray Ban glasses, but if I don’t wear those I’m kind of blind. I also don’t really have many exes to make fun of, and even if I did, I probably wouldn’t make fun of them. As I began to explore my twenties I developed a very #overit attitude and began to let go of things simply because they were heavy. Wow look I’m so mature.

“We’re happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time / It’s miserable and magical.”

Yes yes one thousand times yes. I think people make fun of this lyric a lot, but clearly those people haven’t yet been 22 because being able to feel such a wide range of emotions all in one is kind of my superpower, and while sometimes it sucks, at other times it is pretty cool. Look Ma, I can emote.

“Everything will be alright / If you keep me next to you.”

I mean, I’m a pretty fantastic person. And with my new found maturity and wisdom at this age, I’m a great resource to have. Then again, most of the time I have zero clue what I’m doing with my life, so maybe I’m not the most ideal human being to stick with.

“You don’t know about me / But I’ll bet you want to.”

I reiterate the first sentence of the previous paragraph. I’m kidding; I’m not that narcissistic. Though I do believe that the further I get into my twenties the more self-love I’ve been feeling. So you know what? Yes, I am a super rad person, and you would probably love to get to know me.

“It seems like one of those nights, / This place is too crowded […] It seems like one of those nights, / We ditch the whole scene.”

Also accurate. I’ve honestly turned into such an old lady. I’d much rather spend my weekend evenings in my living room watching foreign films and eating veggie chips than out at da club. And when I do venture to social gatherings I will often catch myself thinking, “Man, the kids at this thing are so young.” Calm down, Marryl, you’re only 22. You’ve got a few years before you can start shaking your cane at hooligans.

“It feels like one of those nights, You look like bad news, / I gotta have you.”

I would argue that I’ve reached a point in my life where I am kind of over making poor choices. One of those been there, done that, not gunna do it again kind of situations. Obviously I’m not perfect, but the novelty of chasing romantic escapades that could be labeled as “bad news” has kind of worn off. Don’t expect to see me smiling behind a white picket fence with an orthopaedic surgeon on my right and a mom van on my left any time soon. But recklessness is a bit behind the times if you ask me.

“Everything will be alright / If we just keep dancing like we’re 22.”

This statement is never not true. Even when you aren’t 22. Dancing solves most problems.

Alright, Tay, I’ll hand it to ya: no, not everything is 100% accurate, but overall I would say you did a pretty decent job at capturing the ripe old age of 22. Though the adventure has only just begin, and I have a whole year left to explore this glorious numerical time of my life. If you ever spend any time with me, prepare yourself, because this song will be on constant repeat for the next 364 days.