Being stressed is no excuse for being mean

I know a lot of people will probably scoff at me behind my back for this post. But maybe that only solidifies why I’m writing it.

Life is stressful. If you’re a university student currently experiencing the third-week-slump, you probably just threw your hands to the sky and shouted, “Amen.” Life expects a lot from you, and sometimes you just can’t deliver. You feel overworked and overwhelmed, and you really just can’t.

But what I’ve been noticing is how being in such a stressed out state can make people really mean. Hurtful comments. Brash tones of voice. Not-so-private gossipy conversations. Giving zero respect to your peers. When you’re stressed out, you’re constantly thinking of all of the things on your never-ending to-do list, which can make a person pretty self-centered. So you forget about how strong of an impact you can have on those around you.

I get it. Everyone has bad days. But that’s the thing: everyone does. If you’re stressed out, chances are the people close to you are also stressed out. And you know what doesn’t help? A lack of support from those around you. If you’ve ever been anxious and overwhelmed, you know the smallest thing can tear you down in a millisecond. I’m not saying you need to be a shoulder to cry on for everyone you encounter, but I am saying you have no justification for being the one to make them cry.

And believe me, I do not think I am some saintly figure: this message is just as much for me as it is for you. I’ve made my fair share of not-so-nice comments and ranted a little too aggressively lately. I recognize that I’m wrong for choosing to do that, and I’m working on it. But I needed to talk about this because it’s gotten to the point where I see two people whispering in a group setting and I just assume they’re putting someone down. Putting me down. And I can’t even call it paranoia at this point because of the amount of evidence I’ve witnessed to prove it to be true. I often stop myself from talking because everyone around me feels like a ticking time bomb.

I want everyone to be okay and happy and not stressed. But there is absolutely no excuse for being mean. None. Zero. Consider how your words and actions affect your peers, because “I’m stressed” is not an excuse for hurting someone else.

Getting my academic shit together

Sorry for the profanity. That wasn’t very academic of me. That’s why I said “getting” and not “got.” It’s a work in progress.

At the risk of sounding very #newyearnewme, this semester I feel very motivated to motivate myself more with school. Today I was sitting in my first lecture of the year, marking due dates in my planner, and I thought, “yo, this semester, I totally got this.” And maybe I don’t actually, but I will. Or at least I want to.

I like school. That’s a notch down from K-12 when I loved school. School used to be a huge deal to me, and now I’ve stopped caring as much as I used to. I’ve felt for the past two and a half years that I’ve just been getting by, and not particularly excelling. Just trying to survive, ya know? But what am I really getting out of that?

I want to succeed and excel and actually do my readings and kick ass on tests and hand essays in two weeks early and become besties with profs and go back to the days when I loved school and school loved me. I’ve been doing just fine up until now: I do my assignments and I have a pretty decent GPA, but I want to do work that I’m really proud of. Hopefully I can hold myself to it.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to resist the urge to sleep because I have like four plays to read.