I lost my voice this week

If the title isn’t indication enough, this week is going to be a real thrill.

(That was sarcasm. To clarify. Sometimes I genuinely can’t tell if it’s obvious.)

In case you didn’t follow my live twitter update (shame on you), here’s a recap: I got mildly sick this past weekend, had a somewhat scratchy voice on Monday morning, and then completely lost it by Monday afternoon after using my counsellor voice all day, teaching kids crafts and dance moves. What a way for it to go, eh? But legit, when I say lost it, I mean lost it. My attempt at saying “bye” to the campers sounded more like a creepy exhale you hear over the phone in a horror movie. Really comforting for 6-year-old girls.

I had never lost my voice before until two years ago. Before then, I had though that the phrase was an embellishment, and you didn’t actually lose your ability to speak. Boy did I eat my words. One week into my first year of university, after feeling sick and then going to a really loud party, my voice was gone. Almost totally gone for about 3 or 4 days, and then I sounded like a heavy chain smoker for another week and a half after that. I’m sure you can imagine how fun that was for a theatre student. And if you can’t imagine it, let me lay it out for you: IT WAS NOT FUN AT ALL WHATSOEVER BECAUSE IT WAS THE WORST.

I had this crazy misconception that losing your voice could be fun and entertaining. It’s really not. The inability to talk really gets in the way of life. Thankfully this week’s illness hasn’t lasted long, and my voice is sort of almost back. But even these past three days have been a struggle when my job requires me to yell at kids. Um… I mean… speak at a raised volume so the sweet, adorable children can hear me. But my boss made me swear a no talking oath so.

Something I rediscovered about myself through this is that I’m really bad at taking breaks. Don’t get me wrong, I can be literally the laziest person sometimes. My Netflix history proves that. But when I’m in a situation where everyone is telling me to just chill for a sec, I refuse. Like when I’m sick. These past thee days my boss (I call her boss but she’s too awesome for such a scary title) has constantly been telling me to stop what I’m doing and go take a nap in the middle of the day. I kid you not. Best job ever. But I felt like I wasn’t being productive or helpful, so I kept refusing. I was given the green light to nap and be paid for it and I didn’t take it, like who even am I? Yesterday I still went to and sang at my voice lesson even though I have laryngitis and couldn’t even hit a G. And today I went to my Wednesday fitness class. I am the dumbest person ever. I get sick and I insist on doing MORE than normal.

So I don’t know if I’ve really learned anything from this week. I’ve always known that I suck at recognizing when I need to take a break and I am really not great at taking care of myself when times get tough. I guess I should work on that. I’m okay with being lazy when I have zero excuse, but not okay with it when I do have an excuse. I can’t over much insight on that because I don’t know why that is. Maybe I just don’t like admitting defeat and that I am not a perfect and put together person all the time. Because that’s a tougher pill to swallow than NyQuil.

Speaking of which, there has been a lot of cold medicine floating through my system so I blame that for and spelling and grammar mistakes on this, or if it’s just generally a crappy post, because I need to do French homework now and refuse to proofread.

No but seriously are they trying to choke me with those NyQuil tablets?


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