If you’re reading this, that means you didn’t listen to me, and honestly I do not think that is a very good way to start off this budding relationship between the two of us. So if you could kindly go back, reread the title, and actually absorb what it says, I think that would be beneficial for all parties and would lead us down a path to a more trusting friendship.
Don’t read this post because it doesn’t contain any heart wrenching anecdotes from my life. I did not pour all of my emotions into the keyboard for this one, sorry. If you came here to fetch yet another item of my dirty laundry and praise me for the utter nakedness in my writing, unfortunately for you I am fully clothed today (though fortunately for me because my blinds are drawn).
Don’t read this post because it contains little to no intentional humour. This Wednesday is not riddled with sassy comments and unacceptable puns. “But Marryl, your anatomy is comprised of 83% both those things!” I know. I’m having an identity crisis over it, believe me.
Don’t read this post because it probably won’t be very long, or consequential at all. I have an exam in an hour and a half and instead of cramming I am meeting my Wednesday quota, so the panic of this exam will likely set in very soon and I’ll stop writing in the middle of a
(Wow I really fooled you guys. You totally thought I was just going to stop. GOTCHA.)
(Don’t read this post because of that bad attempt at a joke. I said “little to no” humour, not zero, okay…)
If you’ve come to the end of this post, that means you did in fact read this post, and I am very disappointed in you. You did exactly what I asked you not to, breaking the sacred internet bond we have with one another. You should be ashamed. Unless this whole don’t-read-this thing was a clever reverse-psychology plot to actually get you to read it. Maybe I had nothing to write about but still wanted to maintain my viewer statistics so I came up with this clever ruse to cover up the fact that this post is the Seinfeld of blog posts: it’s about nothing.
Pfffft, yeah right, like I would ever do that…
… haha… ha…